What is an IELTS Band 9 Model Essay? Find out what will make your writing stand out with my 9 tips.
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Hi Fiona,
Thank you for providing the sample to this essay, I am a bit confused though as to why this is a band 9 for as I read in another blogpost, you had mentioned that one should stay away from using the 3-part template ‘essay option’ from this post. https://ieltsetc.com/2020/05/ielts-writing-task-2-how-to-write-an-introduction/
Hi LN
If you compare the Band 9 model with the ‘template’ introduction that I advise against, what differences can you see?
Question:
Some people believe that charities should help people in need no matter where those people are in the world. Others feel that these organizations should only serve the people living in the country where they are based. Discuss both sides and give your own view.
Band 9:
The distribution of charity is often a matter of controversy. Many argue in favour of cutting overseas aid budgets, claiming that the money is required to cover expenditure at home. However, opponents of such a policy think it is immoral to deprive poor and needy people of necessary financial support. This essay will consider both opinions and conclude that charity should be shared among all deserving causes.
Template
Charity is a controversial topic. Many people express their opinion that charitable groups should help underprivileged people beyond national boundaries, whereas others put forward the view that they ought to help only those who live in their base country. This essay will discuss both points of view.
Best wishes
Fiona
Hii Fiona
Thank you so much for sharing the guidelines to score band 9.
This essay will consider both opinions and conclude that charity should be shared among all deserving causes. I would like to know that is it a correct way to write the mentioned statement in the introduction?
Waiting for your valuable comment.
Saba Zia
Hi Saba
Sorry I missed your comment. Yes – that’s a great way to state your opinion clearly in the introduction. Well done!
Best wishes
Fiona
Hi, Fiona!
Do you think that it is possible to get band 9 going a little bit off-topic? And would the introduction below be off-topic for an essay about countryside vs city for children growing up (talking about advantages and disadvantages)?
In my opinion, children are not necessary to grow up in the city or the countryside for a comfortable life, the main thing is parents who could take care him all of his life and will always be near. Moreover, a life in the city is almost not different from the village. In other words, everyone can be successful and grow up a smart individual person.
Hi Iolanta
Many thanks for your question. It depends on many things – how ‘off topic’ you went, whether the examiner considers it to be ‘off topic’ and whether the language is so clearly a Band 9 that it compensates for anything which may be considered slightly ‘off topic’.